There is something about me that turns ordinary people into psychopaths.

This is something I've known for a fairly long time, to be honest. This is something I have seen happen many times in the past. There is something about me that makes people go crazy. I don't know what it could possibly be, but it definitely exists. Maybe it's pheromones.

But whatever it is, it takes otherwise reasonable people and it makes them angry. It makes them do things like throw me into walls and try to crush my hands in sandwich presses and try to ram the car I'm in with their shitty American hatchbacks.

And sometimes, like today, it just makes them write me multiple nasty emails.

Backstory: on Sunday I went on a coffee date with this guy I'd exchanged a couple of emails with. He was nice, we had a lot in common, I wasn't really sure if I was into him but I didn't want to dismiss him out of hand. We chatted a couple times on AIM (directly after I got home, which I found a bit odd) and, still very unsure but hesitant to reject him so early on, I agreed to see him again. He followed this up with an email a bit later asking what kind of impression he'd made and where he stood with me, since he was getting the vibe that I wasn't all that into him.

I decided that I had learned from mistakes I'd made in the past and that therefore, if he was already getting that feeling from me, I should cut both our losses now. I've let awkward semi-relationships drag on for way too long in the past. It was a massive mistake then, and it'd still be a massive mistake now. So I figured I'd better let this one go.

Even so, I didn't want to be a jerk about it. So I wrote him an email. Translated from the Japanese, this is what I said to him:

I'm someone who's really bad at reading situations, so I'm not good at chatting with people. But, I'd like to think that in the end I'm a straightforward guy. 

I had fun Sunday but to be honest, I got the feeling that "we're not really a good match." You're a great guy but...what I'm trying to say is that I didn't really feel a connection. It's a shame, and I feel a bit guilty, but I don't want to waste your time, so I'm gonna stop here. 

I'm seriously sorry for having troubled you.

And I figured that that would be the end of it. But less than two minutes later, GMail was informing me that I had a message.

You're cruel. Way too cruel.

Okay, maybe I hadn't let him down as gently as I hoped I did. That's too bad and I'm sorry about it, but it would have been worse to lead him on.

Five minutes later, the next message came in. 

You seriously evaluate yourself as "strong"? This attitude, this pretense, however you look at it, it's not strength. To think "let's use such cold, rude words and actions to others!" absolutely isn't strength at all. It's cowardice. 


But that doesn't change anything. Things that can't be helped, can't be helped. It really is a shame. It's a shame you're so mean...

But no, Crazy Email Guy wasn't done! There was a third message half an hour later, because having the last word twice over wasn't good enough.

Huh, you don't even have the courage to respond. That seriously pisses me off. Well, farewell to another weak human.

By this time, I am laughing various appendages off for a multitude of reasons.

1) Three emails? Really, dude? Wasn't one enough?
2) We had one date. While I'm sorry to have wasted your time, I really hope you didn't invest that much emotional energy into this "courtship."
3) The word that I have translated here as "farewell" was さらば, which would indicate that this man is 26 going on 60.

I think I dodged a bullet here.